Posts Tagged Change
What a weekend. It has been raining non-stop & the kids have been home with me since Friday! I was all booked in for Super Saturday Session at the gym, but my babysitters fell through. I’ve also been suffering a very painful illness with shocking headaches and this awful feeling of being dehydrated because of the medication I’m taking! So I haven’t done any exercise whatsoever since Thursday! And that’s not all. The wheels fell off with my planning and I’ve totally lost track with 12WBT. I haven’t been on a huge junk food binge. I’ve just had too many carbs like white bread and bigger portion sizes and the calories have been over 1200.
Feeling a bit bad this morning, I really hope that I haven’ done any damage on the scales this week but all I can do is get back on the program and keep going. The worst thing would be to give up!!! I feel OK, I’ll accept whatever happens this week and not beat myself up about it. Just have to keep going!
I’ve also neglected the blog, which kind of feels like I haven’t been honest with myself – maybe it’s a form of denial by not blogging about exactly what is happening in my day – the good, the bad and the ugly. Kind of like eating in private – if no one sees me, then it’s not really happening?
That’s something for me to think about – perhaps this is bringing me close to the REAL underlying reasons why I struggle with food.
More on that later I think …
Yep, they sure do. I knew this was coming. We’re into Week 2 and the motivation is still there, but the old behaviours are starting to show up. Last night I went shopping after picking up the boys. I was absolutely starving at the time (alarm bell number 1). I bought a few things, then took the kids to Michelle’s so they could choose a treat (alarm bell number 2). They picked out little gingerbread men and we left. On way home in the car, Mr 4 was asking for McDonalds. I said no, but in my head I was thinking “Yeah, we could have macca’s”. (Alarm bell numner 3). And then the justifications came flying!! I burnt 700 cals today, I can afford to. I’ll just have a cheeseburger and a small fries. Or my favourite … we weighed in today, I can get away with it!
I was literally talking myself INTO it, but at the very last minute, even the last second, I decided NO and I turned right at the round-about to head home, instead of going straight ahead into the land of temptation.
It literally came down to a split second decision of “No, I’m cooking something healthy and more importantly, I’m cooking something healthy for the kids.”
These are the temptations that are going to start tripping me up now. And the choice is mine. Am I going to be ordinary and make the choices that led me to be the size that I am now? Or am I going to be extraordinary and drop this weight, transform my life and achieve the things I want?
It’s a challenge. Every day. A big test of how strong my will power is, whether I can resist temptation, whether my planning is working and most of all – whether I can control my brain and shut up that “inner teenager” who demands junk food and laziness .
Consistency is Key.
After spending 3 mornings at the gym this week, and shopping, cooking etc, I’m amazed at how much time it really is taking up to get into this program. I’ve basically only worked half days this week, and for me, that’s something that I know I can’t keep doing. Lucky for me, this week it’s a quiet week but next week will be very different!! I know that week 1 is a huge adjustment, but I really do wonder how the members who work full time, study, commute and have any sort of family/social life, manage to fit all of this in. It’s really amazing to me, and these are the people that I consider to be ‘extraordinary’. But, I understand that the whole point of this program is to make this new routine a permanent lifestyle change, so it’s a matter of finding a rountine that works and that doesn’t create extra pressure and stress.
On the weekend, I’ll be working on my daily/weekly schedule. I’m about to become a schedule nazi and absolutely everything from training to cooking to chilling out will be scheduled in. Here’s a post I wrote on the 12WBT forum this morning. Clearly others are struggling with this too!
Hi guys, this is a challenge for me too but it’s not just a challenge to fit in the gym, it’s a challenge to fit it anything! I’ve just signed up at the gym also and I’m a single mum with 2 boys under 5. My parents have agreed to babysit on Sat mornings for my super Saturday session, but the only opportunity I have to get to the gym is straight after I’ve dropped the kids at day care which is 4 days a week. This week, I’ve done that 3 times, but the problem is I’m supposed to be working while they are at day care! For me, the issue is literally only having a certain amount of child free hours in the day, so I’ve had to shuffle my entire routine around. Fortunately, I work for myself so I can work in the evenings, but let me tell you this week, I have been absolutely buggered by the time the kids go to sleep, so it’s not really the BEST time for me to concentrate on work.
On the work front, it is very hard to put that second! I have clients who need their work completed and the pressure is really on sometimes but at the end of the day, I’ve had to just manage my deadlines better and also manage client expectations better. Often when they say something is URGENT, it’s actually not needed immediately, it’s more IMPORTANT but they are stressing about it and get the two mixed up HAHAHA. Seriously, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dropped everything to get something done that day but it’s turned out I could have taken another day or two to get it done. PEOPLE PLEASER MODE. That’s stopped I can assure you.
I’ve never been the kind of person who plans out each section of the day but I’ve realised that doing that would really help me manage everything, especially booking new work in. I’m scheduling in EVERYTHING! Gym, shopping, play time, work time, cooking – I think it’s the only way I’m going to get through this & manage everything without stressing.
There is a solution for everyone, it’s just a matter of being flexible with your routine and just putting yourself first – even as someone else mentioned, if it’s just for 20 mins, that’s better than no exercise at all. Maybe asking for some help from work colleagues, managers and partners/flatmates at home with some of the domestic tasks could help take the pressure off too.
Day 4. After 3 days of hard training and especially after the sheer brutality of 2 hours at the gym yesterday (weights, abs, lunges, interval training, boxing, more abs) I’m feeling it today! I’ve woken up hungry, I’m feeling sore and to top it off, it’s that time of the month!
The “me I used to be” would take the day off training today with the excuse that I’ve worked hard this week and I deserve a break. I had that conversation with myself about 30 mins ago. The outcome? I’m ignoring it. I’m going to the gym, I’m not thinking about it, I’m just going to do it.
I remember Mish saying in Round 2 that yes, it’s going to hurt! And the best way to deal with it is to do more training. She is the voice of reason in my head.
Commitment. Never really thought of myself as a commitment-phobe, but the truth? Yep, I am. A big one! The mere prospect of committing to something long term is terrifying! I like to fly by the seat of my pants, be spontaneous, flexible, adaptable. In terms of my health, where has that gotten me? To a point where I’m so overweight my body just feels like a huge burden I have to lug around. Even the simple task of shaving my legs in the bath is a huge pain in the arse.
So, things are changing . I’m making a commitment to my health. And I’m making a commitment to my children to be the best possible version of myself I can be. Physically, I have a long way to go. Here I am again, about to embarking on Round 3 of Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation. And I’m making my commitment & saying it out loud . Here goes…
My commitment is to be kind to myself, to ride the rollercoaster of this emotional journey without getting off when I think I’ve had enough. I will push myself, and will not take the easy road of being lazy or giving up. I will follow the program for the 12 weeks. I will stick to my calorie limits every day for the 12 weeks. I will work as hard as I can during each and every workout and I will workout every day. I am committed to maintaining this blog as a diary of my journey, a record of the ups and downs that will set me up for a healthy lifestyle for LIFE!
After completing Round 2, there are so many things I discovered about myself that define why I am the size that I am right now. And the only way to successfully confront my head demons and overcome them is to keep this diary. I’ll be blogging as often as I possibly can.